A Word to the Wise ~ Integrity / Part 1

Integrity    [ integri-tee ]
Part 1

The integrity of the upright guides them,
    but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. ~ Proverbs 11:3

You have upheld me because of my integrity,
    and set me in your presence forever. ~ Psalm 41:12

Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. ~ C.S. Lewis

INTEGRITY is Honesty all dressed up in its Sunday best. It is Decency who raised its grade by taking advantage of every extra credit opportunity the teacher offered. Integrity does not manifest itself as an immovable, no-questions-asked adherence to a rule or law. Its motive force is more internal than external. It has more to do with inner freedom and coherence than with falling in line with some outer imposition. Each person with integrity wears it differently. It’s not one size fits all.

Integrity is the first quality to look for in a potential spouse, a business partner, a son-in-law, someone you are considering hiring for a job, all clergy persons and politicians—especially the higher up you go—a lawyer, a mechanic, or anyone you are going to ask to look after your health, your child, aging mother or father, your money, house, mail, dog or cat or garden. Integrity would rather lose with dignity and grace than win by lying and cheating every day and twice on Sunday. Integrity is what you look for when you crawl under the house to check its foundation or what you want the qualified inspectors to look for when they check out the substructure of a bridge or the hull of a ship or the engine and extremities of the fuselage of the 727 you just boarded.

Integrity is self-effacing, not showy. It is rolled-up-sleeves blue collar on the inside who cleans up nicely on the outside when there’s occasion or need to go to some fancy affair. We recognize Integrity because it treats everyone at that fancy affair the same—which is to say with respect, kindness, and appreciation—from the belle of the ball or the guest of honor or the new bride to her parents to the senator who is a long-time friend of the family to the young woman who is making her way through the crowd with a tray of champagne or hors d’oeuvres to the dishwashers in the kitchen who are out of sight and mind. When we meet or know people of genuine integrity it can rightly be said about them, “what you see is what you get.” Mind you, when you meet or know people who are genuinely a horse’s patootie—it can equally be said about them, “what you see is what you get?” To recognize one is to recognize the other as well.

Integrity comes from the Latin integritās which comes from integer as in whole number, as in integration, as in bringing together into one unified whole. When we are talking about the integrity of a person or persons—which I am—we are talking about wholeness not perfection. Integrity has nothing to do with perfection. “There is nothing more whole than a broken heart,” said Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk. Integrity in a person is a bit different than the integrity of a bridge or ship’s hull where cracks are cause for concern. In a person, no apparent cracks are a cause for concern. I’ve often said wholeness is not like the unmarked, pre-sliced, perfect cheese pizza. It’s more like the round pizza put together in the leftovers’ box by the parents at the post-soccer-game-rushed-pizza-lunch after the kids have scattered to play leaving eight different boxes with slices of eight different kinds of pizza. It is a whole pizza, but one comprised of different disparate pieces integrated into one large circled pie.

Moving from pizzas back to persons, we can see integrity has to do with wholeheartedness and implies wholeness of character. Its opposites are disconnection, segregation, incongruity, and fragmentation. Persons who lack integrity—intentionally or unintentionally—create division, discord, and disharmony. The highest connotation of the 1960’s adage “She’s really together” or “He’s got it all together” is not that she or he is perfect, without flaw, without struggles or problems or contradictions. It means that she knows who she is regardless of the circumstance. Integrity is characterized by inner coherence and outer connection. People with integrity attract, people without it repel. Integrity resides in that placeless place deep within persons, but that also extends beyond the tip of their noses. Integrity is not a private matter, but manifests itself in relationship, behavior, action, and interaction. There is nothing abstract about integrity. It’s 100% pure grade incarnated.

Integrity has to do with substance, with the underlying and essential nature of who we are and who we are becoming. Integrity is not having a fixed, immutable, static position. It’s not a sign people have arrived. Rather, it involves our conscious evolution, our intentional work toward becoming whole by faithfully answering the summons of each moment and the next emerging situation by living responsively and responsibly. It involves being wholly honest, first with oneself before God, then always with others. It requires being wholly open to growth which involves humility in the face of being open to failing, falling, criticism, advice, another perspective, and the other side. It means being wholly concerned about others, even those who don’t look, think, talk, believe, act, worship, or vote like us.

The person with little to no integrity is the man or woman who is living unfaithfully to oneself, is betraying the kind of person she or he has been created to be. Before persons compromise their integrity by casually or continually lying or deceiving others, they have deceived and lied to themselves. And to live out from our manufactured self, our false self, is a pain no one can ever outrun.
(. . . to be continued)

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